WHEN GOD CHASED ME by Dara Goolsby

All of my life I have been chased. Until just a short time ago I didn't even realize that I was being chased. In my mind I thought I was running away from everything. I thought I was running away so fast that no one could possibly be quick enough to ever catch me. I was running away from the hurts, the pains, the regrets, the shame, the rejections, the let-downs...you name it...I was running from it. I was running and I didn't want to stop running until all those feelings were gone, but I could never stop. The feelings never went away. The more I ran the more numb and empty I became. The more alone I felt. I would try to fill the numbness, emptiness and aloneness by surrounding myself with other things and people... I thought they could "fix" me somehow. I became a person that I didn't recognize anymore when I looked at myself in the mirror. I was disgusted and ashamed of myself. I became a hollow shell of the Dara that used to smile, but now that smile was accompanied with the heart wrenching truth of knowing it wasn't genuine. A hollow shell that used to be filled with joy, but very rarely did joy ever come. I became good at "faking" my way through life. I became good at pleasing people and giving them exactly what they wanted. A smile? Okay...I'd smile. A laugh? Sure...anyone can fake a laugh. I ended up at the point where I didn't care about anything or anyone anymore...especially not even myself. Life was passing me by, just as fast I was trying to run from it....

In all this running I found out though that there was always one person that was quick enough to chase me down. There was one person that had chased me all along. That person was the one who created me before the foundation of the earth. The one who willingly went and died on the cross to know me. The Author and the Finisher of my faith...MY GOD. He chased me! He chased me when I was in my sin. He chased me when I wasn't loving Him like I should have wanted to be loving Him. He chased me when I hurt Him by turning away from Him. He chased me when I didn't deserve to be chased...but in all this...He CHASED me. His unconditional love chased me. He looked at me and said yes...yes she is worth all the chasing. God has loved me with the same love as when I was in my sin until now. He has loved me knowing I was going to fail Him. Knowing I was going to hurt Him. Knowing I was going to turn away from Him. Knowing I was going to take His love for granted. And yet He wouldn't let me go. He covered me with His grace and mercy. He watched me and was always by my side even when I thought no one was. He chased me and waited for me to turn around and chase Him...

At this very moment as I lay on my bed typing this, I can't help but be overwhelmed with immense joy knowing that I get the privilege to chase Him every day of my life. Each and every day He gives me air in my lungs to breathe I am excited knowing that I get to chase Him. I am excited to seek Him and to have a relationship with Him. I am excited that I get the honor to call Him my Best Friend, my Healer, my Deliverer, my Prince of Peace, my Father, my Comforter, my Redeemer. He has restored me to what He has intended me to be. I can't even begin to express or put into words just how much I love the One who created me and never once stopped chasing...


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